December 2010
92 posts
Dear 2010,
It’s been real.
- Liz.
Don't worry flawed technology, its not like I was...
Except, really, I was. Fuck you.
Using the delicate words of my good friend Tyler,...
My marks need to be higher. My weight needs to be lower. My vocal range needs to be larger. My personality needs to be more appealing. My bank account needs to be richer.
The list goes on.
2011 shall officially be deemed the year of fucking up less.
Resolution: made.
People do not change.
People adapt, people conceal, people reveal, people grow, people fade, people learn, people mature, and people falter, but (in my opinion at least) people never fundamentally change. People as in society, people as in the individuals — either way you read it, history has proven that people do not change.
New Discoveries
- Donkey Kong Country Returns for Wii is… so great.
Really…that’s all I’ve discovered. Needless to say, I’m having an extremely relaxing week.
Legs
Mom: Mabel and I met a three-legged German Shepherd named "Dutch" on our walk this morning!
Glenn: I want a three-legged dog named "Tripod".
Me: I want to get a five-legged dog and name it "Kickstand".
Glenn: I want an eight-legged dog named "Octomom".
Me: I want a no-legged dog named "Seahorse".
The best things happen while you're dancing.
Home-for-the-holidays-dinner-table Chat
Granny: You apologize far too often. You're far too denigrating to yourself.
Glenn: Yes, Elizabeth. It's true. You should instead say nice things about yourself. Say, let's all go around the table and say nice things about ourselves!
Mom: I make the best displays at the library! I always search all over the library for books and I bring things in from home, and they're always so lovely.
(The crowd roars with mocking laughter)
Me: Well, I have really long eyelashes. Like, really long, and they put yours to shame.
Granny: Well, I'm extremely intelligent, and 81. Beat that.
Dad: I know everything.
Glenn: I'm hilarious.
(Laughter)
Tonight I was asked what my strangest sexual...
I didn’t really have an answer. I feel like that’s weird…
Couples Who Suck
I hate couples who suck, especially when they’re two of your best friends who’ve coupled themselves and just seemed to have sucked the awesome out of each other. Couples who suck can suck for several reasons, like being too lovey in public, being like an older married couple, or fighting all of the time. Perhaps the most annoying of all sucky couple syndromes is when they’ve...
Went to two Wal-Marts and a Shopper's Drug Mart.
dormousesays:
Not one friggin snuggie.
Why does my mother want a snuggie for Christmas? Who knows.
Why couldn’t I find one while I was in Ottawa? Probably because they know better than to sell them.
… I’m so screwed.
Should’ve gone to the St. Laurent Mall “As Seen on TV” Store…
Exams > Christmas
In terms of stress levels at least…
Well, that was short lived.
I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.
oscillateswildely asked: I really like your blog! I think its really cool!
oscillateswildely asked: I really like your blog! I think its really cool!
I did it.
I made it through one of the toughest semesters most trying four months of my life.
I feel so liberated, so completely fucking stress-free.
I did it.
I made it through one of the toughest semesters most trying four months of my life.
I feel so liberated, so completely fucking stress-free.
That feeling you get when you think you lost your...
That’s, like, every moment for me. I made an elderly man hoist himself out of his seat at the theatre last weekend because I thought that I dropped my phone behind his seat. It was in my pocket the whole time.
One more exam.
Just one more and I’m free.
I can finally just chill out with my roommate for a night.
I can finally hug my sister and properly congratulate her and her finance on their wedding engagement.
I can finally play with my puppy, whom I miss so much.
I can finally sleep in a giant, comfortable bed.
I can finally relax.
Friendship is lighted and snuffed like the flame...
dormousesays:
It is very fragile, and it rarely burns forever.
When it is gone, you are left with a memory in the form of a waxy stump—a thing with remnants of its former glory, but that ultimately has no use.
We should relight our candle in the New Year.
The moon is a wonder in the cloudy sky. Every moment you spend staring at it only makes it appear stranger, more obscured. Looking away for just one instant changes forever what you were looking at. All of a sudden, the clouds part and the moon seems brighter than it has ever been, like it got closer. Like it knows you’re talking about, or like its leaning in to hear your secrets.
For as...
I always feel stupidly clever when I understand a...
adenar:
Thank you, Triple Award GCSE.
I'm so sick of my own face.
Not in a depressing, “ugh, I’m so ugly, why me” sort of way, though. More so an, “I can’t even tell what my face looks like anymore I see it so often” way. It’s weird. I’m sick of my own face.
It’s kind of like when you pour yourself a glass of lemonade, and then another, and another, and it just starts to taste like nothing, but your mouth...
All I want for Christmas is to be done exams.
Apparently, that will never happen.
Go on pack me up, I'm sold.
I question nothing perilous or vile, for fair and...
-Liz Michelwin, Courtesy of Shakespearean word magnets.
Things I need to do before this summer:
- Pick-out/purchase a bridesmaid’s dress
- Plan and host a bridal party
- Plan a bachelorette party
- Write a speech
- Find a date
- Get my sister down the aisle
I want a [boyfriend].
bloodphoenix:
allshewrote:
dormousesays:
And [he] has to look exactly like [Ashton Kutcher]/[Jake Gyllenhaal]/[Jude Law]/[Russel Brand]/[James Franco]/[Cory Monteith]/[Ryan Gosling].
Or else no deal.
Or maybe it’d be a hard bargain.
Fuck it. I’d take [Steve Buscemi] at this point.
[Edits]
Uh, why aren’t I mentioned in this?
I need to stop this delusion, Patrick. You’re taken....
I want a [boyfriend].
dormousesays:
And [he] has to look exactly like [Ashton Kutcher]/[Jake Gyllenhaal]/[Jude Law]/[Russel Brand]/[James Franco]/[Cory Monteith]/[Ryan Gosling].
Or else no deal.
Or maybe it’d be a hard bargain.
Fuck it. I’d take [Steve Buscemi] at this point.
[Edits]
My sister is getting married.... and I'm the maid...
Weird.